April 1, 2014


I have been thinking to write a post like this for quite a long time, but never had enough courage to do so. It is easy to write something very light and carefree about trends and outfits and other pretty much anticipated topics that you can read on most fashion blogs. But what I want to write about now is something that I know many of you might not agree with, and I am ready to be judged for my honest views.

Since I was a little girl I was inspired by strong beautiful female characters. From Disney Princesses (Belle and Ariel are my favourites!) to classic literature heroines - Scarlett O'Hara, Angélique de Sancé de Monteloup, Jane Eyre and others. Later I started to admire real women like Cleopatra, Gala Dali and of course my mother.

 I was raised believing that woman should be beautiful inside and out, kind, intelligent, ready to fight for love, yet let a man to fight battles for her when the time is right. I believed (and still do) that love is all that matters in the world, and a woman is the one who fuels the flame of passion, brings beauty and meaning to life, keeps a hope in hearts... But reality hit me like a hammer! 

Just look at majority of modern women. I do not understand what they are trying to achieve and why the term feminism is still alive in Western countries? We all got equal political and social rights. Is it not what we were fighting for? In fact while women nowadays are getting their "rights" to be promiscuous drinkers with dirty flats and unhealthy ready meals from supermarkets ("Its not woman's place to be on the kitchen!"), the rates of suicidal and unhappy females is raising. Because you girls got yourself in the trap! Let me explain it to you. No matter how hard you try to look cool, free and career driven, at the end of the day you crave for a special connection and attention. But are we not driven female happiness away with our "new" views, behaviour and attitude?

Physical Beauty. Do you really think that actively protesting against photoshop/make up/supermodels or just pretending you do not care about your looks will help you to feel better about yourself? Its never going to happen. Deal with the fact that beauty is subjective, but it matters in life. In fact looking good is very important for a woman, and I am not talking about some boring 90/60/90 standards here. Beauty is an effort you make for yourself and your man. Go to a gym, eat healthy, put a nice make up, nice clothes (please stop buying those cheap baggy tshirts and, girls, oh god, stop wearing tracksuit bottoms everywhere and ugly jackets that are 10x times bigger than you and have this horrible dirt/swamp/greyish colour), look after yourself, love your body!

Ok, here are some words that horrified me when speaking to many young girls:
a) "I do not shave my legs. We have been living together for few months, he should be ok with it, I am a human." or "I am not dating anyone. Why should I wax?"  
You cannot imagine how often do I hear this and yet it always makes me feel ashamed to name myself a modern woman. Darlings, seriously? It is a basic thing/rule.. How can you then ask a man to treat you as a princess if you are being literally a hairy beast in bed? I invested couple of thousands in laser treatments, I do all my beauty procedures and my boyfriend is not even living in London now! But I know I am always ready for love and admiration and this is how every woman should feel.

b) "I know I am fat, but let me get that burger, chicken wings, onion rings and a beer"
Why do you do that to yourself? First of all, eat healthy, so you won't die from heart attack at the age of 40 with your face buried in fries. Secondly, are you really really genuinely satisfied with your body? If yes, I am happy for you! If not, go and change it! I know its hard, but make the right choice. Instead of watching a tv show or drinking in the bar, go workout or run in the park with your friend.

c) "I do not want to spend so much money on manicure/spa/lingerie" 
Girls, trust me, if you start investing into yourself, your life would become brighter and your man will be willing to do everything for you. I am not telling you to go over the edge and get yourself broke. I am just saying have a bit of respect for the fact you are born to be a beautiful female and you need a bit of grooming to show that to the world.

Inner Beauty. This is the most important aspect I wanted to talk about. Girls, honestly, sometimes I do not know how men cope with some of us. I have already wrote a lot but I will briefly touch the basis. 
First, I do not understand why modern women are so easy and promiscuous these days. I literally have to message some of my friends when they are on a date to NOT sleep with a guy as I am tired of their constant tears that no one treats them right. And all these girls are wonderful people, but they are just so misguided by media and modern culture they do not know what else to offer. 

Also, I don't get why so many girls cheats on their boyfriends and then get back to them. I find it absolutely inappropriate. We all make mistakes, but for me loving someone means being faithful to them. What happened with Penelope waiting for her Odyssey? And do not tell me that guys cheat too. Some of them do (which is not acceptable either), but I think cheating woman is far more destructive for relationships than a man, because we girls always put emotions in lovemaking, while men can put them aside. And no real man will lie to a girl who is open and honest with him and do not play stupid games or tries to make him jealous.

Drugs and Alcohol. That what concerns me a lot. Girls, you will probably be mothers one day, so why risk not only your own health, but the health of your future kids? A little bit of red wine, glass of champagne is fine, but when I see young girls drinking vodka from bottles in the club and sniffing cocaine... and then see how they behave.. Not cool at all. Drunk girls are easy to get. I am usually one of few sober people in the nightclubs and I see how girls get touched by different men and no wonder no one actually wants to see them after the "fun night". The fact is these girls are so gorgeous and stunning and I do not understand why they do not value themselves. Stop giving yourself away as a cheap freebie.

Other habits. If you are living with a guy cook for him, make him surprise dates, look after him when he is unwell!  Or at least make sure you have a food at home. You do not have to do it all the time, but it is a nice little touch to show you care. I know girls who live with their boys, do not work and order pizza every freakin' night.. I don't think it is exciting really, no matter how much you love pizzas. 
And try to clean the house! And I don't mean become a kitchen slave or a housekeeper, but just make sure everything is pretty and clean, and at least clean your own mess.

Attitude. Stop swearing so much and picking up fights with everyone. There is nothing more disgraceful than shouting aggressive woman ready to pull some other girl's hair. It doesn't mean you have to be a wallflower or a loser, you can take boxing lessons, know how to reload the gun and heavy lift in the gym. This is sexy, this is strong. But do not go around breaking other people's noses bitching "Yo, don't stare at my man hoe". Be above this.

And always remember that happy woman is a loved woman, but love requires time and patience. Wait for the right person and never settle for anything less than amazing. Love yourself, work on your habits, rethink your behaviour, become desirable for yourself, and kind to others, and you will finally find the pride in being a Woman.

So choose who you want to be... a lady or the tramp?


Kamilla Majima said...

Powerfull writing!

Ulia Ali said...

@Kamilla Majima, thank you so much! Its so great to read positive feedback from people :) I was expecting feminists attacking me for my views

Kamilla Majima said...

I feel exactly the same as u wrote in this post! Love ur blog!!!!!! ��

Anonymous said...

Your view on feminism is problematic because women absolutely do not have equal political and social rights. Women are more likely to be sexually assaulted (and then blamed for it), men are passing legislation that control women's bodies and their choices about them, women make less money across all industries in the US, all but one of the Harry Potter movies fail the Bechdel test!! I recommend this video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UwJRFClybmk (Feel free to ignore her armpit hair if that offends you, but don't let it detract from her overall message.) And if you're in a mood for a laugh then Jon Stewart makes an excellent point about double standard for male and female politicians (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWRJ2x0IVXc). Where is the equality in all of this?

Jem0612 said...

You're joking, right?

Ah, actually, this was posted on the 1st of April. That makes sense; posting on April Fool's day is the only explanation I can think for the airing of your downright ridiculous views. You almost had me for a minute.

Abi L.Glen said...

Ulia, I can only hope that this was an elaborate April Fools' Day joke. Other than that-- and because I have no interest in trolling you,even as an attack-dog feminist-- I will email you privately so that perhaps we can have a discussion as adults.

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